There is a rush that I feel to do something that makes me want to do cart wheels at times. It could be wanting to work on a project for myself or just wanting to go outside or shopping. Do you have this feeling often? I had to ask myself am I impulsive? Could it be that I have no patience?
Let me tell you I could have a thought populate and I immediately think this is something that needs attention now. At times my mind wants to believe that if this is given to me now I have to act on it now. Now taking the time to pause and think about what I am thinking about is helpful. This does not happen often. However I am thankful for the Holy Spirit to move in me to do so.
I am glad for the moments to slow down because when you are constantly going it becomes overwhelming. I do understand that this lifestyle may work for some but for others you have to do what is best for you. We all have different paths in life but thank God for His truth.
Ecclesiastes 9:11 I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
For the past months I have had a war going on in this mind of mine. I have had a lot of scenes play in my mind of things that have me ponder, what is real versus what is not? I been faced with a lot of questions about my life and to tell you the truth I could not do anything, but call on someone greater than myself. There comes a point when all you can do is depend on God.
I refuse to give up and be sad all day long. Knowing that is not how God wants me to live. I remember reading a prayer in my devotional bible asking the Lord God for help, because I know I need some help outside of myself. For anyone who has been in this space I pray that you share your story with others, because we need each other to survive. Just think when on the battlefield there is not one soldier there are plenty who are at war. As christians we too fight battles daily. That battle can be spiritually, financially, emotionally, physically, and many others. So do not think you are by yourself. We all have some type of war to face daily. Remember you are not on the battlefield alone. I pray for you and you pray for me. That’s how we will when the war.
God knows all the things we do and how often. In spite of all this he still gives us chance after chance. In pondering on this we could not keep count of the many bad habits because it happens daily. We all have bad habits that we need to let go of!
Now here is something I had to learn about myself. After having a conversation with an associate of mine, I found myself revisiting the conversation we had. The question was asked to me, why do I talk in generalizations. At first this caught me off guard. However, I did not realize what he was speaking about. Then it came to me that this was something I have done a lot. So now what? I really did not have much to say because now I was beginning to exam everything I would say. This was not good because my mind was screaming out pressure. Now thinking how can I get rid of this, but I had to tell myself it’s not a curse. What came to mind is being short in my conversations. Is it just me? I did not think it was rude. There really was no reason behind this action. It was something that I did without any notion. I am a woman who has plenty of mistakes. What is next to learn from? More habits to explore!